Message from rstrong

[Anonymous]

To the Honorable and Inimitably Fearsome Inspector General Yee:

Sir:

My father is a wicked and evil old man. Mind you, as legalist, I don't hold that against him--it's only natural for him to wish to indulge his desires, and it would be hypocritical of me to hold him to a higher standard than that to which I hold myself--at least, that is, until he runs afoul of the laws.

Take the time my father experimented with the creation of chimeras. As you are no doubt aware, the savage and carnivorous eel-osaur which he carelessly introduced into Cherry Blossom Lake created quite a bother, but since he released it before the adoption of the most excellent Law Against the Introduction of Monsters into Freshwater Bodies, it is hardly something for which we can hold him accountable.

But, regrettably, my father's interests have, of late, turned to the subject of alchemy, and I must report with at least a modicum of sadness that old Chen, who had been taking Father's special blend of lead and mercury, has passed away. Alas. And, poisoning, is, of course, already specifically against the law. Was it a mistake? You might imagine so, but I should also add that Father has lately, and with tactless haste, married the surprisingly young and toothsome widow of old Chen.

I suppose you will feel obligated to take some action in this case. To promote respect for the law, I ought also to convey that Father is currently residing his modest island home, which is in the middle of Cherry Blossom Lake. Moreover, I feel called upon to mention that the savage eel-osaur, which still infests its waters, has, of late, reputedly begun to obey Father's commands. Personally, I should not like to make the journey to investigate Father's natural but unfortunate iniquity in more detail, but this is why I am merely a humble public servant. A word to the wise--their cries grow louder just before they attack.

Sincerely,

Po